I had a birthday, ymmmmhmmm. There was dinner, a circus, coworkers and friends, and Olivia. It was a pretty good time all in all. However, it's become strange to me; I've had my 26th birthday in Tennessee, 25th in Hawaii, 24th in Florida, 23rd in Pennsylvania, 22nd, 21st, 20th, and 19th in New York, and all the preceding ones in West Virginia. I've become accustomed to moving so frequently that nowhere really feels like "home" any more. I think I've mentioned this to some of you faithful readers before, and it still distresses me. I've lived in Tennessee for nearly a year (Dec. 8th it will be) and I'm still not convinced it's home. There's a line in Garden State:
"It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know."
I'm not sure if that's exactly how I feel, but it's pretty close. I'm proud to say that I have friends all over the country, friends that I could count on, but where do I get to stop and have a home again?
1 comment:
Having been a nomad in the last few years too, I've taken to thinking about the idea of "home" in a sort of opposite way. It's not a constant, singular place to come back to (either physically or mentally), but a series of places where I have felt at home. They're places where I have made my own life, where I've been happy and that I feel I can always go back to. I love to think that there are so many different places that have been, and will always feel in some way, like home to me.
ps. happy birthday!!! <3
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