A little bit of Nirvana

This has nothing to do with Kurt Cobain.

Leaving work in the afternoon, there is only one thing that stands between me and and almost straight walk to my car: a 4 foot high handrail poised on the lip of a 10 foot dropoff from the balcony of the aquarium's restaurant. Now, your Average Joe, being the law abiding conformist bloke that he is, would walk around to the stairs that are about 40 yards away, go down the stairs, walk 40 yards back and then go to his car.

I have discovered a simple, effective, and ergonomic solution which goes as follows. While walking out, sometimes carrying on a conversation, I will approach the handrail and jump into the air. While I'm in the air, I'll turn sideways, grab the rail with both hands, and finish my 180 degree rotation and plant my toes on the available 2 inch wide ledge. I'll then jump 10 feet to the ground, rotating another 180 degrees on the way, land in a nice soft bed of mulch and decorative shrubbery, and continue walking to my car, leaving stunned and shell-shocked coworkers in my wake. It takes me to a happy place that reminds me of running around Vassar at 2 o'clock in the morning and jumping off/over things. It's 3 seconds of Nirvana.

Wandering

So today I went wandering in the cow pasture behind my apartment. Yes, my apartment is by a cow pasture. There is also a small stream and some woods. My camera was taken with me and pictures were taken with the camera. Here are some results.


Also, a fence post behind my apartment. It keeps the cows out of my parking lot


You know it is spring by the purdy flowers that you can find sprouting ever'where.

The Ballad of Nicholas Fescue

This was posted on the Collaborative Fiction Project website, but for those of you who don't read that...

The Ballad of Nicholas Fescue

Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
Deep in a dragon's lair
Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
And faced down a grizzly bear
Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
Of all the maidens fair
Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
And made all the townspeople stare

Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
Of the young lass in distress
Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
Then he left thru the egress
Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
And now I have to confess
That Nicholas Fescue came to the rescue
Wearing a floral print dress

Knights are abound but all about town
None more of a rogue or a charmer
Than Nicholas Fescue who comes to the rescue
But doesn't own any armor

I just made myself a ACDC-style quesadilla this evening, as made by Will. All I needed was some brown rice and some sour cream and several people to help me stack dishes in an absurd convoluted contraption in the center of the table, and it would have been complete. I didn't realize how much I missed them. You try living off the things for four years, and then not eating them for three. Here, for those of you who know what an ACDC quesadilla taste like, is a memory.

Patty's Poetry

On this day of Patrick, it's best to drink with friends
Because they'll carry you back home when the evening ends
Car bombs, Bulmars, Guinness, and don't forget the whiskey
Just remember to stop when you're still feeling frisky
Don't forget to bring a coat, else you'll start to shiver
My heart is with my friends, but St. Patty's got my liver

Itchy

I feel like I have 10,000 things I should be doing, but I can't do any of them at this moment, and it makes me feel itchy. I got offered a slot to swimtest, audition, and interview at Sea World. In San Diego. I've managed to arrange the days off to pull this off (narrowly) with little sleep and lots of flying, and I really want to try to do it, but I can't buy a plane ticket until I know what day I'll be able to swim test, where I'll stay, or what I'll do if they actually decide to hire me. All this makes me antsy, itchy, and paranoid, and there is nothing I can do about it at this moment except watch Battlestar Galactica.

I tackled a turtle

It's true. A little 430lb turtle. A little 430lb turtle in water. It was time for our green sea turtle's annual physical, and I was one of the 4 people in the water yesterday, so we had the joyful task of catching, restraining, lifting, immobilizing, and returning our irate reptile. Holding an annoyed animal that weighs twice as much as you is quite difficult, even if she is so fat that she's round.