Tiberius

Tiberius the Turtle was discontent. He'd been training for weeks, yet his times had not improved. If he were to be a Competitor in this years Turlympics, he would have to cut at least three seconds off of his time. Rory the Rabbit was watching and critiquing from the sidelines.
"Keep your feet in, the straighter you move, the faster you move."
"You shut your mouth you nap nabbing numbskull!" Tiberius retorted. He was tired of his coach's advice, which he seldom backed up with experience. After all, hadn't Tiberius bested Rory in the recent competition that had been arbitrated by Aesop? What could Rory teach him that he didn't already know? The principles of aerodynamics were on his side. His shell was a miracle of modern engineering, practically designed for high-speed travel but his body refused to removed the required seconds that would get him into the trials. Would training be enough? Perhaps it was time for some pharmaceutical help...

Bus Mojo and Cookies

Over the last 2 days, I have not waited more than 5 minutes for a bus. This isn't particularly impressive until you realize that the bus system in Hawaii is not exactly the type that operates on time. They have a schedule, but it's nothing more than a vague suggestion as to when you should show up at the bus stop. I have waited over an hour for a bus that is supposed to come every 35 minutes only to have one pull in just as I am walking out of range to catch it.

In other news, I now work at a cookie store. That's right, I play with dolphins and bake cookies. I also live in Hawaii. Suck it!

Hurray for life.

Edit: I also got a date tonight. When you're on a roll, you're on a roll...

I like a man who can handle his meat...

Rupert was an expert. He’d been doing this for years and in that time, not once single person had surpassed him in his chosen field. His hands held the knife steady; his strokes where swift and straight. The flesh peeled away from the bone in wafer thin slices and fell into his hand. With deft movements, he cradled the cold meat in his palm and placed it gently in the bun. It was a good day to be a sandwich maker.

House, beach, and jelly fish

Portuguese man o' wars SUCK! It's true. The little drifting bastards have all the intelligence of a fern and about the same amount of control over their own locomotion. Sadly, they have much better defenses than your average plant: they sting like a BITCH! If you've ever been stung by stinging nettle, it's similar in sensation, but about twice as intense. I was wading in the ocean the other day and one was washed against the back of my knee. After this less-than-enjoyable experience, I promptly exited the water via the nearest bit of sand, and with a bit of creative swearing, rubbed my leg with said sand. I also had one of them bounce down from my shoulder to my wrist to my foot, where it got stuck. Hurray. In other news, here is a picture of me and several of my roommates, at least the ones where were awake and mobile at the time I felt like taking a picture.

New house, new bed, same roommates

Well, we moved into our permanent (read: 5 month) residence tonight. I have fish prep at 6am tomorrow, so I should go to sleep. My new bedroom is attached to 2 bathrooms and the kitchen (by a nifty little hatch. I can have breakfast shoved thru to me OR order an alcoholic beverage from the live-in bar tender [I wish]) I'll put up pictures or something some time. Until that day arrives, goodnight everyone, and stay classy.

Hawaii

Well, I've made it. I've been here for just over a week now, and things are going pretty damn well. Email me if you want any specific details. Work is going pretty well, but my feet are too big and they don't have any boots to fit me, so I'm not allowed to do fish prep until they get some size 13's. There are a few new facebook pictures for those of you who are part of that. Right now we're camping on the floor of Uncle Joe's (don't ask, he's a local hero and a nice guy) and we get to move into our beach house the 25th. "Beach House" is a bit of a mis-gnomer (GNOME SORCERY!) because to be fair, the place is a good 100 yards from the beach. Let me tell you, that's a really long way. There are mountains and an ocean, my two favorite terrain types. I need to try to hike up to the top of the mountains in our back yard, but they are extremely steep. Anyway, more to come when we move into the house.

Los Angeles

Well, I made it LA, and it is big. I'm visiting with Mr. Roo and Miss Sally, and I swam in the new ocean. New ocean is cold. Pictures for those of you who know these wonderful peoples. I leave for Hawaii tomorrow and get there about 6pm east coast time and noon my (new) time. Sleep deprivation makes for odd grammer.